Not Titled yet!!!

"Athelien is on an on-going though studying program for KPSS. (Zira 1 aydan da kısa bir süre kaldı) She will not be able to reply to any referrer or follower. Please try to contact with her after July 10."

I'm nowhere! I'm lost! I feel a bit dizzy and I need to study more just before the exam. So dear followers, I'm sorry to tell you that you need to wait to read about my adventures.

In short, I had an interview with a foreign language course. It was a job application. Yet, later, I refused and I still question why I did such a thing. There was Film festivals in Istanbul and I watched few films. I joined in my friends from university club and went to Spil Mount, Manisa to practise on rock climbing on May. (I don't remember the exact date now) I've been attending to KPSS courses and I will until July 21. Then, on April, I& my family celebrated my brother's birthday. It was lovely. I went to Kuşadası to celebrate my cousin's engagement. I did pretty good things but I can only remember them when I look at the photos. I will publish them too. Don't worry. By the way, unlike someone commented on my previous post; I didn't find the ship of Noah! I'm sorry. It has already been discovered. However, I may do some kind of new explorations in the very next future. Who knows?...



02. 10. 2010

FINAL COUNTDOWN! The examination is on 10th. Going to bed at 01.30am on nights and waking up at 7.30 am... Well, that's enough for a good sleep though I feel sleepy in the mornings. Listening to the radio (mostly, to get mood) while doing tests of maths, history, Turkish and Law& Citizenship.

My eldest aunt and my cousin were in Istanbul last week. They just wanted to visit us when the schools ended and they spent two weeks with us. I always enjoy to be with my "over"-crowded family and these two weeks were the times I gave a break for studying. Happy, sweet days...

Athelien "the" ev kedisi...

Hayat işte; nereden çekerseniz oraya doğru gidiyor. Hatta fazla çekerseniz uzayabiliyor; çekingen davranırsanız yerinden kımıldamıyor. Bu ev kedisi de hayatın neresini tutacağını çok da bilemese de bir şekilde bir ucuna saldırıp çekme planları yapıyor. En azından iyi, kötü planları oluyor. Kısmetse planlar uygulamaya konuyor; değilse "amaaaaaaan, salla gitsin!" oluyor. Duygusal anlar yaşanıyor. Malum, eskiden okulun doldurduğu yeri dolduracak bir şey yok ve okul hatıraları hala etkisini gösteriyor. Freud, zihni bir buzdağına benzetir ya hani... Bilinç altı, zihnin ulaşıma kapalı mekanıdır, rüyalar, bir takım yaşantılar sonucu kendini belli eder; tıpkı buzdağının suyun altında kalan kısmı gibi... İşte Athelien pek bir duygusal olduğu için (eee, küresel ısınma da var) o buzdağı çok çabuk eriyor ve eriyen bilinç altı suyu bilince karışıyor. Ama hayat devam ediyor.

Artık Athelien her şeye "hayırlısı" diyor. İş yok hala. Kısmet... Aşk yok; meşk yok. Evlilik hiiiiç yok! O olmasın da zaten. Bu konuya soran olursa değineceğim; zira kendi şahsi ve de tehlikeli görüşüm. Ben en iyisi bir süredir neler düşündüğümü dökeyim buraya.

Kendimi geliştirmek, KPSS sınavında başarılı olmak adına Aralık ayında bir dersaneye gitmeye başladım. Çalışabildiğim kadar ders çalışıyorum. Fakat üniversiteden yeni çıkmışken zor da oluyor tekrar masa başına geçip ders çalışmak. Hele başımda öyle bir bela var ki sormayın: Matematik...

Ne tuhaf bir beladır, nasıl bir kavram, bir bilimdir ki ben buna sıradan bir "bela" diyemiyor, anlatamıyorum. Çocukluğumdan beri nefret ettiğim matematik dersini; her ne kadar bu konuda henüz aşama kaydedemesem de; bir anda az da olsa sevmeye başladım. Bunun nedeni öğreten kişi (benim deyimimle "hoca") mi? Tabii ki. Ancak hocanın fiziksel hoşluğuymuş, jestleriymiş vs. si umrumda değil. Dersi anlatışıyla beğeniyorum ben hocayı. Artık bulmaca çözer gibi mateamtik sorularını çözüyorum. Zevk için sanki... Başarılı olamıyorum; yirmi soruluk bir testi çözmeye çalışırken tüm günümü harcıyorum. Olsun; ilk defa matematik çalışırken bundan keyif alıyorum.

Benim de sınıftaki herkes gibi matematikte 0 (sıfır, tabula rasa-boş levha) bilgi ile geldiğimi kabul edip sabırla, en kolay konudan başlayıp en zoruna doğru yavaş geçiş yapan; verdiği örnek ve ödev testlerin haddi hesabı olmayan matematik hocama teşekkürler. İnsanın öğrenirken en çok yararını gördüğü ders materyalleri bol örnek ve öğrenilen bilgiyi hayata geçirmek (miş; ben de bunu fakültede okurken, ve hatta bu dersanede eğitim bilimleri derslerinde öğrendim.)


Soranlara "Hala öğrenciyim" derken bundan hiç gocunmuyorum. Üniversitede, zorunlu staj dersimiz vardı. Gittiğim okulda, dersine girip gözlem yaptığım hocalardan biri bana "En iyi öğrenci, tahtanın önündeki öğrencidir." demişti; hakikaten de öyleymiş. Bir öğretmen, kendini her zaman bir öğrenci gibi hissetmeli. Çünkü, öğretmenin en büyük işlevi, bilgisini başkalarına aktarabilmesidir. Bunun için de

1) Öğretmen, bilgiye sahip olmalı,

2) Öğretmen, bilgiyi aktarma yöntem ve tekniklerine hakim olmalı.

Bunlar için de öğretmenin daima öğrenme işini yapıyor olması gerekir kanısındayım.

Dört yıl boyunca eğitim fakültesinden mezun olmak için canla başla çalışıp, öğretmenlik diploması aldığım halde KPSS engeline takılmış olmak beni her ne kadar bunaltsa da şu sıralar bir dersanede, öğrendiklerimi tekrar etmek, başkalarından öğrenmek ve onların öğretim yöntemlerine eleştirel gözle bakmak benim için çok iyi oluyor.

Evet, zaten yazılarının çoğunluğu İngilizce olan bloğumda belki de bir seneden beri ilk defa Türkçe yazı görüyorsunuz ve o da kısa oluyor. Ancak düşündüğüm, icat ettiğim, oynadığım, izlediğim, etkilendiğim, zırıl zırıl ağladığım o kadar yoğun şey var ki... Hepsini de yazmak görüntü kirliliği! Bu nedenle uzun zamandır ne yazarım, nasıl yazarım, yazmam şart mıdır diye kara kara düşündüm durdum. Biyonik Kedi ve Pelince'ye buradan çooook teşekkürler; uzun zamandır unuttuğum bloğumun varlığından beni haberdar ettikleri için. Onlar yorum göndermeseydi peeeeeeehhh... Blogmuş, yazıymış... Neeeymiiş? Bu vesilede hatırlatmada bulunan bu pek muhterem iki kişinin de neler yaptığına göz atma fırsatım oldu. Sevindim :)

NOT: Gecenin sürprizi (çünkü saat 01. 50 ve yazı ancak bitti)... Damien Rice'tan güzel bir şarkı armağan ediyorum: Amie. Bu şarkıyı linkte çıkan listede bulup üstüne tıklamanız yeterli. Elbette, listedeki diğer şarkılara da bakabilirsiniz.



En rüyası bol geceler sizlerin olsun!

HOWDY FRIENDS!

I'll wait for the next stop. Not me; it's the man on the video. Many of my friends, who are girls, have pittied on the woman and sworn to the man. I admit that it's a very touchy situation; but my memories remind me I've had worse experience than this. THese are all because of those stupid men who make fun of us, pretty ladies. Truely, men always making fun of us without knowing their tiny brains include less things than ours have. Surprisingly, they succeed. This is probably because of the enchanting language they use; like we watch on this video. You will see it better after watching. Anyway... This video also exemplifies what happens in creative drama courses. Though I pitty the woman, I'm crazy for doing such things. I will some day... Yeah, I will perform a short play in the bus (maybe it will be the 19 whose destination is Yeditepe University!)

And... Here is my number one addiction: watching the Big Bang Theory on cnbc- e. Especially, I love Sheldon! He is out of the world!! he's just like a small star between two planet! He's different; that's why he's so funny. His unusual habits like knocking on the door for three times make me laugh laugh and imagine how would I seem if I imitated him.

What can a job-less girl do all day? She can wake up late. She can go for a walk or shopping, with her mother, she can study on the KPSS examination and have a cup of coffee as a motivation and as a reinforcement of her dreams in the night. She can look outside in rainy days or she can't decide what to wear on sunny, hot November days. She may be frightened of catching flue and H1N1 virus. Yeah, yeah... All of these are inclusive; but what else? Aren't there any things to do at home apart from these? Sure there is... Internet access!! My number two addiction is an online game; so it's totally related with the Internet: Farmville! I really enjoy harvesting. Imaginary visuals of seeds, crops give me some idea about their actual appearance. Besides, even if it's imaginary situation, I can gain imaginary money which motivates me in the game. I love online profit!! I love Farmville!!!

I'm attending on a seminar which is organised by ÇDD (Çağdaş Drama Derneği- Creative Drama Association) on Thursday. Will be back on Sunday night. Till then, have a nice time.

Which Austen Heroine Are You?

I had been curious about Jane Austen's stories since I watched the movie, Pride& Prejudice. This afternoon I took this quiz from Google and found out which famous character I am. Sounds different. Better to google more and learn about Northanger Abbey.

Take the Quiz here!

Vacation, Location location...

Since September 4, I was on a vacation. I've been in Ayvalık (Sarımsaklı, Cunda) so far and I've been staying in an apart in Didyma for three days.

It was fun at the beginning. Later, some expected but unfortunate things happened. Still I try to enjoy. I'll back to İstanbul tomorrow. Gonna write about my vacation in details later. This is my brother's Mac- Apple, I'm using now. Hopefully there's wireless connection.

Hope to write soon.

AUTHENTIC MOVEMENT: What is it?

You can click on the web- sites that I've found. There are various information and photos about the subject.

http://www.authenticmovement.org/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Authentic_Movement

http://www.dancingwithshakti.com/

http://authenticmovementcommunity.blogspot.com/

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1083/is_7_78/ai_n6145250/

http://www.authenticmovement-bodysoul.com/amcenter.html

http://lisafladager.com/id3.html

http://www.focusing.org/bodywork/meet_your_body.pdf

http://www.evolutionarts.co.uk/authentic_movement.html

http://www.awakeningbodywisdom.com/workshops.htm

http://www.dublin.ie/websites/oneness/authentic-movement.asp

By the way, I'll try to contact with Sanna Valkea to send me photos (if she has) of mine and add them on this post. You can also google the topic.

Let me show you the photos of last weekend. I was around Kilyos, the place is called Arıköy, with my family on last Sunday. We visited mamma and daddy's friends there and enjoyed on the seaside.

I collected many sea shells which are black. I'm planning to make a sweet gothic present for one of my best friends. I'll take photos as soon as I begin working on it.

Have a nice week.

GRADUATION!!!! Graduation from everything?

Great God! At last... I'm a graduated and jobless girl!

It has been ages since I wrote my last post. During this time I have had lots of fun in Yeditepe University while attending lots of serious lectures, meeting with friends and enjoying together. I have nearly ended up with my drama course. I have finished the 5th term there. Have I ever mentioned my creative drama courses before??? Now, you learnt it. There were also school club, YUDAK activities. Thanks to very understanding friends, I had good time there. I had some trainings with them at Fire Department of Kocasinan and I received my "Fireman Volunteer" Certificate. It was an extra- ordinary experience for a girl like me, who has acrophobia. You can see the fear in my eyes.

And the photos below are just exemplify what we do on school walls... Of course, these are some scenes from an application, a part of our education in school club and the necessary precautions and permissons were taken from the authorities.

I have attended to Authentic Movement lectures in ÇDD (Çağdaş Drama Derneği/ Creative Drama Association) where I also had my drama courses in Üsküdar. The lecturer was a very pretty, friendly Finnish lady, Sanna. She became a close friend for me during six weeks. Well... What is this Authentic Movement, then? I can't tell... I still have lots of things to learn about it. Besides, I don't have any photos to describe it. Then, you have to google it, I suppose. :)) But let me give you a clue: it's a sort of dance. But it's different from other dance categories. It is usually taught to students who are to become performers, actors/ actresses. It's about discovering the movements and movement resources of your body. In a way, it's a good way of relaxation. That's all.

By the way, Sanna, together with her friends, is on a project and you can follow it from this link:

http://www.vaellalaella.net/blogi/ossiblogi/

Both the lessons at university and drama course made me so busy. I haven't complained about my teaching trainee sessions in Kadıköy Anatolian High School. Yet honestly, I've gained some experiences there about teaching. Most of my students were having enjoyable time when I was teaching. I may think about subscribing the video of my teaching day. (Ohhh, a disaster as I was ill and can't properly talk because of my coughs)

Anyway, the graduation party times come so soon. First, we had a ball together our lecturers in Sabancı Öğretmenevi. It was a lovely place. Then, we did have another ball (without teachers hihihihiiii) in Suada (Galatasaray Island) which was quite luxurious place. In fact, you can see all the photos by clicking on my profile on facebook. I'm publishing only fews here.

Time was flowing. There came some heart breaks. So natural and expected& accepted! Some of my friends stopped seeing me and talking with me. The "pax amicitia" ( peace of friendship/ friends' peace) was established with some of them later; but only a few months. Some didn't talk with me even though they saw me quite often. It's still the same. Anyways, there's a life and there's the world turning around the sun and I have more important things to think. So I let those friends go. I didn't forget them, I can't. Though, at least, I am focused on another things and I have my own way.

I still can't believe how time has passed. Those nights we had our graduation balls were unforgettable. My dresses, make- ups... Everything was on the way. By the way, I was e- mailing my CV to various private schools but receiving no reply. I took lots of examinations which are necessary for my career such as UDS, KPDS, ALES (these are necessary for attending to a master program) and finally KPSS (this one is for proving my proficiency in teaching. Ohh noo! Why did I study hard to get my diploma then if the government hesitates to employ me without this proficiency certificate?). I took all these exams without studying of course. Did I have any time to study? This term was good for me to be familiarized with all these examinations. Next year I will be attending on same exams again. So... Was everything finished? Not yet... There came the "major" day! The real and the only one graduation day! The others were just balls, parties. But, as you see below, on 8th of July, I was offcially a graduated girl!.

Yeah, I admit that I became mature during my university life. I met with precious, glorious people including my lecturers. Their sayings, experiences will enlighten my way. My friends... The ones I loved, cared and will do all the same in the future.... The ones who care me and deserve my love... All of them are so valuable for me. I will meet them again as I have time. We will gossip about the boy I like, talk over our meal and motivate each other whenever one of us is depressed. And... Finally... The ones who I loved, cared without expecting anything in return... But those are the ones who gave little heart breaks and shoke my trust on them... The ones who seemed to know a lot about me, who seemed to care me; but actually gossiping about me, getting wrong impressions from my sincere intentions are the ones who has the seeds of hatred in their inner depths. I have no words to spend on them. I can't overtell myself if they couldn't understand what I told about myself for four or two years we had together. The greatest thing that university experience has taught me: Trust is everything we have. Without trust, we're alone. Without trust, we are like animals. We don't communicate with people; we're isolated from the rest of the world. With trust, we can climb up to the mountains, heal our bruises. With trust, we grow up like the sun flowers. However, trust is a very transparent line which holds us together. It's the rope and we're holding from the end of it. It's in our hands to make someone fall down... Or climb up.

* Thanks mama for being with me on this photograph. Without her, there wouldn't be a Duygu who has graduated from a university. Sure, there would be other Duygus. Though, they wouldn't be like me.

Last week, I made some appointment with some English course programs' directors; I walked on Halitağa Street or so- called Dershaneler Sokağı and I delivered my CV randomly to many course and lecture centers there. I realised that graduation doesn't mean graduation from life. In fact, new experiences are waiting. Please, wish me good luck!